My Precious Miracles
Last Sunday I caught up with a friend I haven’t seen for a while. She and her husband moved away for a couple of years. Seeing her and talking about the biggest thing we had in common has left me quite reflective this week. What do we have in common well that’s infertility and it’s a lot more common than you think. 1 in 6 couple will experience some degree of infertility. You may know someone who is or has experienced infertility. You may also know people who have infertility issues but you just don’t know. Infertility is funny thing. Some people are very open it and others prefer to keep it quiet. We are the blabbermouth type of people! Our friends spent the first part of their journey in private and then later decided to share it with their friends.I will share with you a bit of our story.
We decided after we got married to start a family. I was 30 and didn’t want to ‘forget to have children’. I was convinced it would happen in a matter of months. My mum had 6 children and often remarked that she only had to look at my Dad and she would fall pregnant. Age wasn’t even a barrier to her as she had me at 44! My sisters found it easy to. Two of my sisters have large families, one with four and the other with five.
So we tried .. and we tried .. and we tried……..NOTHING.
After a year we went to the doctor. We got referred to a fertility clinic and after many tests they didn’t find any major. The fertility clinic suggested we attempt three rounds of IUI (googling this would be easier than me explaining). We failed twice and then they said stop. Apparently they did find something wrong after all. My husband’s sperm had issues and ICSI (a form of IVF) was our only option. We took a break, gathered ourselves and our finances and …I fell pregnant naturally! We were so excited. We had a six week ultrasound and our world fell apart. The heartbeat was too slow. We endured a horrific 6 day wait until the next ultrasound. I crumpled into a heap. I hid from the world. I didn’t go to work. It was so hard not knowing whether to grieve or not. My mum was away in England and I really needed her. We were told we had a 1 in 3 chance of good outcome.
The odds ended up not in our favour. We fell apart but we fell apart together. The stress and emotional rollercoaster of infertility puts a lot of pressure on relationships. We were lucky as it just made us closer and stronger. But we fell pregnant naturally. I was convinced we would again.
Two years went by …. Nothing
It was time to go back. This time we saw a different specialist. Ours had left. Our doctor sat us down and was open and honest with us. She told us that we may fall pregnant again, it could take months or years but the outcome would mostly likely be a miscarriage. This was hard to swallow. For once I didn’t want to fall pregnant naturally.
We had to do ICSI. So we did and we were one of lucky ones. It worked first go. We truly were blessed. We were lucky again with our next child too as it only took two egg transfer rounds. Our two children are miracles and whilst our journey to have them wasn’t easy we were lucky. Lucky to have each other, lucky to have it strengthen our relationship and lucky our journey was short.
For those of you who may have travelled or may be travelling this journey I am truly sorry.
For those of you who haven’t please don’t tell people suffering infertility they just need to relax or have a holiday!!